“Family month” is every day of the 365 days a year. The family is like a mini heaven, so we should love our families. However, even people who hold positions in the church come to me saying they can’t live with their spouse anymore and want a divorce. However, what pastor would tell his saints to get divorced because they don’t get along, have financial difficulties, or have issues with their children? The church aims to repair relationships, not suggest divorce. Recently, there have been a few heartbreaking cases, and because I feel that this cannot continue, I am sharing this message with you.

Family is one of the various social institutions that God has given to humanity. It is truly a source of joy and blessing that God has granted according to His will. Though it may seem like a small unit, it plays a significant role in moving society as a whole. Centered around a couple, a family is formed, thus creating the “family system.” It is called the “family system” because blood relations and marital relationships are formed within families. A family is truly a place where there is no fault. And, even if faults exist, it is where we cover and conceal them, comfort each other, and share words of hope. Additionally, there are no secrets within a family. If there are secrets, then that is a fake family. This is a fundamental principle. If there are secrets, it means that sin is already hidden there.

Humans are born and come into existence through family. We live our entire lives centered around our families. From our families, we receive life, love, nurturing, protection, and provision. The core of a family is the couple, so no family can exist without one. Because the couple is the core of a family, even if one spouse has power or earns a lot of money but the couple splits, then everything becomes meaningless and forgotten. All that power and money becomes useless. In Genesis 2:18 and the following verses, it is clearly recorded that God created a beautifully ordered relationship in which the wife submits to her husband, and the husband loves his wife. If a married couple does not become one flesh after marriage, then they are going against God’s Word. They cannot escape that sin. Families must be harmonious. They must be bright—brighter than sunlight. Why is that? Because God’s Word is glorious. The light of God’s glory is seven times brighter than the light of the sun. This was spoken through the prophet Isaiah, 2,700 years ago (Isa 30:17). The relationship between a husband and wife in a family should be just as bright.

Since Adam and Eve accomplished becoming one flesh, they exhibited no fault. What faults can exist between a husband and wife? None. Genesis 2:25 records that they were “both naked but were not ashamed”. In worldly terms, there is no degree of separation between a husband and wife. A parent and child are first-degree relatives, while siblings are second-degree. However, there is no such degree between spouses. Although they may appear separate in the physical world, in heart, they are one. According to God’s Word and the message the Holy Spirit gave to the church in Ephesus, they are one.

But then an incident occurred. In Genesis 2:17, God solemnly commanded, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” The love between a husband and wife is bright, but it gets obscured when sin enters. Does anyone tell the wife about her husband’s wrongdoings? Who would tell the husband about his wife’s mistakes? Sin comes in and deceives everyone.

I am not just saying this because I’m a pastor, but any couple who falls away from God is not a true couple. It’s all about self-interest. After Adam sinned, he realized he was naked and felt ashamed (Gen 3:7-10). Look at how he made a skirt out of fig leaves, which would dry and shrivel up in just a few days under the hot sun. And then he hid among the trees.

“Adam and Eve, who told you that you were naked?” Before sin, they felt no shame. The light of God’s glory covered them like clothing, but then God’s glory departed. Romans 3 records that God’s glory departed because of sin. Paradise gained became Paradise lost when Adam and Eve, the first ancestors of mankind, ate the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. But Jesus came to recover this lost paradise. A family should have nothing concealed. That is why Jesus, the Word, became flesh and came to this earth—to create happy families.

We all wear clothes because we’re ashamed to be naked, but what clothes are there in heaven? The prophet Isaiah said that, in heaven, even the finest clothes would decay and disappear like rotting rope. In heaven, we wear the garment of glory.

What kind of family and husband and wife are happy in the Lord?

Today’s text, Matthew 19, refers to events that occurred on Tuesday, the third day of Passion Week. The religious leaders came to Jesus to trap Him. They tested Him, asking, “Is it a sin for a man to divorce his wife? Is it right or wrong?” The Tuesday of Passion Week is known as the Day of Debate. Jesus was exhausted from morning until night. How cunningly the religious conspired to entrap Jesus and kill Him!

The phrase “testing Him” in Matthew 19:3 and Mark 10:2 refers to the evil scheme of entrapping Jesus. Early on, the religious leaders try to attack Jesus by questioning whether He will adhere to the words spoken through Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, 2 and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former husband who sent her away is not al- lowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomina- tion before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.

And Jesus answers them in Matthew 19:4- 5, “Have you not read that He who created them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” Genesis 2:24, that man and wife are one flesh, is God’s original design! How can you separate with divorce if you are one flesh? That’s why Deuteronomy 7 instructs to marry a believer, not an unbeliever. This is God’s command. Hebrews 13:4 also says to honor marriage. Jeremiah 2 instructs not to defile the bed before marriage. Jesus knows everything. In John 2:24-25, there is no need for Him to receive testimony or evidence from people. He is the Creator God.

In the Scripture reading, Matthew 19:6, it is clearly stated that what God has joined together, man must not separate. Just because I gave birth to a child does not mean that child belongs to me. The child belongs to God. Do not entertain the thought of divorce. Why commit such a dreadful sin? Perfect union came before sin. There should not even be a thought of, “Let’s try to live well,” because of course we will live well. We must live according to the Bible and God’s Word.

Jesus is the beginning, the origin. When Jesus speaks to us, He emphasizes on “originally.” He speaks with a focus on the foundation, the beginning. People speak with an emphasis on “human speech.” We cautiously watch our words, concerned with being criticized for what we say. But Jesus spoke from the foundation, the origin, “originally.” When the religious leaders of the time questioned Jesus, as to why Moses permitted divorce by giving a certificate of divorce, Jesus’ words were, “Because of your hardness of heart! Your hearts have become corrupt and rotten. Because of the wickedness of your hearts, God allowed it temporarily. Originally, it was not so!”

When you stand before God, you enter an eternal world. So, we must truly have faith in God. Don’t believe in Him casually; you must believe with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. With your whole self. Only then can you truly believe. Only when you fully love God can you truly believe. The same goes for husband and wife. To truly love someone is to be willing to die for them.

When we look at the Bible, Moses allowed divorce certificates to be given to eliminate the evil practice of divorce. Why? It was to protect women. Without divorce, men might resort to beating, even killing. That’s the nature of the human heart. It’s venomous and utterly wicked. So, the issuance of divorce certificates was to protect women. Originally, it was not so! God has said so. It’s the same in Matthew 5:31-32 and Isaiah 50:1. God has never commanded divorce.

Matthew 5:31-32 “It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Isaiah 50:1 Thus says the Lord, “Where is the certificate of divorce by which I have sent your mother away? Or to whom of My credi- tors did I sell you? Behold, you were sold for your iniquities, and for your transgressions your mother was sent away.” 

Moses allowed it as a measure of the times because of wickedness, but originally, it was not so. If the Israelites had not been wicked, wouldn’t that mean there would have been no divorce? They were wicked. The original Greek word, “sklerokardia,” means “unyielding stubbornness, hardness of heart.” There isn’t even an ounce of understanding. This heart, which is so stubborn, hard, and rough, is filled with so many thorns that it causes hands to bleed from their sting. Secondly, it’s the insensitivity caused by continuous disobedience. Like leprosy, the whole body will rot, yet you don’t realize you are hurting. Because they’re insensitive, they disobey. It’s like saying, “It’s mine and I’ll do as I want, so what’s the problem?”

In Jewish society, during the time of Moses, women were considered less than human. They were treated as servants. However, God took a rib and formed a body, creating woman. And God gave her to Adam. What did Adam say? “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Is Genesis 2:23-24 a lie?

Try chopping your rib with an axe or stomping on your foot. That’s what hitting your wife is like. Why do you hit her? If divorce is prohibited, then men might physically abuse, beat, curse, even kill, and bury their wives secretly. When Moses saw this, he felt great pity for women. Due to the wickedness of the people, Moses allowed divorce to be limited to protect the rights of women who were being abused. The Pharisees used this as a trap to attack Jesus. But Jesus said, “Originally, it was not so.”

Marry wisely. The book of Proverbs says this. You might purchase something because it looks good, but upon closer examination, there may be flaws. On the day of Passover, the Israelites would buy a lamb but not immediately slaughter it. They confined it for four days and inspected it in detail. They examined it from head to hoof, checking for any blemishes or injuries. Then after the four days of thorough inspection, they would slaughter it. Also with marriage, be thorough and careful.

Matthew 19:9 “And I say to you, whoever di- vorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Jesus’ ultimate purpose was always returning to the original state. Even when passing judgment, the standard is the “original”. The ultimate goal was the origin.

Going back to the origin was how the Lord always resolved an event. A woman brought before Jesus had been caught committing adultery on the spot. This is the

incident recorded in John 8:1-11. Hundreds of people had stones in their hands. “Moses commanded us to stone such a woman. What do you say?” To calm their excitement, Jesus sat down on the ground and wrote something with his finger. As he wrote, they kept questioning him, “How do you know how to write when you haven’t even studied?” They persisted and would not stop asking. “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” According to the law, is there anyone without sin? No, they were all guilty. So they all gradually dropped their stones and slipped away. Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.” This is love. Jesus always places the solution to the incident or problem in the “origin” and His Word.

Matthew 5 records the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus addresses the distorted beliefs of the corrupt leaders of the time who believed in formalities, focusing on the phrase, “You have heard it said to those of old…”. He says to them, “But I say to you,” and imparts original teachings.

First, He speaks of murder (Matt 5:21-22).

A person who hates his brother in his heart is committing murder. Anyone who commits murder must be executed, right? Is there no hatred in your heart? That hatred is the sin of murder. Apostle Paul also speaks of this in 1 John 3:12 and the following verses. No matter how wicked, they were surprised by Jesus’ words.

Matthew 5:21-22 “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”

Second, He speaks of adultery (Matt 5:27-28).

Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already com- mitted adultery with her in his heart.”

If we use light as an analogy, the Mosaic law is like a candle or a lantern. But Jesus’ law of freedom is like a lampstand. It’s the same light, but brighter. Under the Old Testament law, adultery was established through physical relations. However, Jesus’ law says that even harboring lust is committing adultery. The light shines brighter. This is the law of freedom. This is the difference between heaven and earth.

Third, He speaks of divorce (Matt 5:31-32).

Matthew 5:31-32 “It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

If a man divorces his wife for something other than fornication, then he causes her to commit adultery. He doesn’t come home or provide for the household, but if she brings it up, he beats her. The sin is his own doing, so why beat her like a dog? This is committing adultery. A beloved wife is truly bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh. You shouldn’t hit her. You’re hitting yourself. That’s why Apostle Paul said that loving your wife is loving yourself (Eph 5:28).

Fourth, He speaks of oaths (Matt 5:33-34).

Matthew 5:33-34 “Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.’ But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God”

During the time of Ezra and Malachi (circa 450-400 BC), it wasn’t only religious leaders, but everyone had concubines. Back then, if a man didn’t have a concubine, then he wasn’t considered a man. God sees and treasures even the smallest things, like the tears of a woman! The pain and suffering of women filled the church altars. The prophet Malachi was astonished when he received this revelation. When he went out, he saw that everyone had his own concubine. This is in Malachi 2:14-15. “The weeping of the wives overflow on this church altar… Your wife, whom you married when you were young, is your partner, and you have made a solemn agreement with her. Yet you act treacherously toward her…”

Malachi 2:13-14 “This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, be- cause He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your compan- ion and your wife by covenant.”

* treacherously: to act deceitfully

Monogamy and marital devotion are Christian principles. In Genesis 1:27, God created humans as male and female, and said that the two shall become one flesh. What did Paul say are the conditions to be a church leader, deacon, elder, or pastor? To be the husband of one wife! Paul states in his instructions to them, “An overseer must be the husband of one wife” (1 Tim 3:2).

1 Timothy 3:1-2 It is a trustworthy state- ment: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, pru- dent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

The Bible speaks of monogamy based on the equality of men and women. Monogamy, marital devotion! This is the fundamental order of creation. It’s the cornerstone of family ethics. In marriage, two become one in a love that only increases and does not diminish. That is why 1 John 4:8 says, “God is love.” The very essence of God is love. We must live off this love. What God has spoken to us and what He has saved us with is His love. Grace is love. Isn’t this church the body of Christ? Jesus is the head of the church, and we are the members.

Genesis 2:24 says, “They shall become one flesh.” The Greek root is “κολλάω” (kollao). What does it mean? When car- penters attach wood, they use glue. Once glued, they don’t come apart easily. The same goes for married couples who–like glued wood stuck together–don’t easily fall apart. That’s what true marriage is like. That’s what the original Greek says.

Beloved saints, in the visible world, even though man and wife may be physically separate, they are one in essence. The husband’s heart belongs to the wife at home, and the wife’s heart belongs to the husband at work. If this is not so, then nothing is true. That’s why Jesus said, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Did God consult Adam when creating Eve? He did not. It is God’s sovereign and unique work (Matt 10:9, 19:6).

First Corinthians 7:10-11 says, “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband.” I say this, not as my command, but the Lord’s. It’s right here in the Bible.

This is a command. It’s not giving an option between throwing the marriage away or keeping it. It’s saying to not throw it away. There is no divorce in Christianity.

Malachi 2:14 explicitly says, “She is your companion.” Your companion is right here, so even if you searched the ends of the earth for another match, you won’t find it. There is no divorce in the Bible. Even if you feel at times that you can’t stand another minute with your spouse, that you can’t bear to live any longer with them, do not divorce. Don’t seek companionship in another man or woman. Endure. And as time passes, your eyes will open to each other, and you will receive grace, and you will come to know the Word again, and you will be able to reconcile.

There was a singer who sang a song called “The Couple Duet” about 20 years ago. He released an album during his time at Noryangjin Church. I hope you can listen carefully and understand the meaning of the lyrics.

<The Couple Duet>
Verse 1.
Living with just affection through the years, Time has passed like a dream.
Your once beautiful face and lovely eyes Now with more wrinkles.
Looking back on the winding paths we’ve crossed,
You were a light to me.
Through joy and sorrow, together,
You devoted yourself to this foolish person. My dear, what I want to say to you is: I love you. I love you. That is all.

Verse 2.
Loving only you in this world,
The past days of loving you made me happy. I have no regrets.
For you and for our children,
This journey is a woman’s destiny and fate. Through good times and bad,
I am happy to be your shadow.
My dear, what I want to say to you is:
I love you. I love you. I love only you.

Dear saints, let us soberly reflect on the Word given to us today. Let us at Pyungkang Cheil Church truly fear the Word of God, and let us give thanks to Him, acknowledging that He has ordained our husband or wife for us, from before the ages. Let us have great faith, loving and revering only God, and rejoicing in Him, and let us evangelize a lot, starting with our families! Family is our mini heaven. May each home become one where the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit dwell, experiencing the true satisfaction and joy of the whole family gathering together in praise and prayer before God, and coming to church together, not missing any worship services. I pray in the name of the Lord that such joy will start with the family.

Let us pray. God, thank You.

We have briefly pondered the message in Matthew 19. Thank You for the precious husband and wife whom God has joined together. You told us to love our wives as our own bodies, for whoever loves his wife loves himself. You have also told us to be subject to our husbands, as we are to You. You tell us in James 1:20, “The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” May we bear this in mind. Please bless all the saints of Pyungkang to warmly love their husbands and wives whom You have joined together, so that they can become a blessed couple always moving as one body in contentment, joy, and happiness, without conflict or separation in their hearts, until they enter into Your kingdom.

May we once again deeply understand and remember the Word given to us today, and please send the Holy Spirit to grant us the ability, wisdom, discernment, and insight to understand what we are still not able to comprehend. We pray and offer our petitions in the name of Jesus with thanksgiving. Amen.

Apr 6, 2008 (Sun)
Lord’s Day 2nd Service sermon

 

*This post can also be read in 'Champyungan'. (http://champyungan.com)